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Behind The Scenes

Behind the Scenes of @janeybworld!

A Day In The Life of Janey Brown (Behind The Scenes of @janeybworld)

Performance Mindset Coach Janey Brown takes over the instagram stories of entrepreneur/ retired soccer Pro Wes Knight, from 5a to 930p. With his audience, she shares a play by play of her entire day, tools from the Performance Mindset Program and her personal story of battling with stage fright.


  • February 1, 2017
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Podcast archives below!


6. Working Your Way Through Fear| The YOUnique Piece Podcast

Having obstacles in our lives can help us become the best versions of ourselves and Janey Brown has shown that to be the case. Janey shares the tools she’s learned in those difficult moments to teach others how to overcome through her performance mindset and wellness programs. Tune in to learn more about how you can overcome your own fears.

5. Janey Brown – A Wellness Rockstar | Mart & The Fishbowl Podcast

4. A Performer's Mindset | Breakthrough Musician PODCAST

“Proper mindset is crucial to a musician. In this episode, Performance Mindset Coach Janey Brown takes us through her decision to pursue music at an early age. As a childhood performer, music was what molded Janey. She mentions how making a commitment to be a performer made struggles later in life much more manageable. She knew that this was her only option.

Janey also talks about her battle with stage fright but unlike most performers, her situation was different. Many musicians have issues while they’re on stage. A physical symptom or the inner monologue while trying to execute a smooth phrase! For Janey, her problems began once she got off stage. She would constantly hearing the inner voices of doubt and worry. This began to take a toll on her everyday and she knew she had to make a change.

Sure enough this gave way to her start in her health career. Janey has always been active but now being able to collide her music and health career has paved the road to the Performance Mindset Program. Janey describes her Performance Mindset coaching program and how it can prepare you on and off stage!” – Kevin Mecchella, Breakthrough Music

3. Anxiety & the Path to a Performance Mindset | Championship Lifestyle PODCAST w/ Janey Brown

In this episode of the CLP we’re joined by our very good friend and online Performance coach, Janey Brown! A performer of 20 years and fitness expert for over a decade, Janey has combined her wealth of experience dealing with anxiety on and off the stage, with her yoga and meditation practice. The result is her brand new Performance Mindset Program. JB opens up about her personal experiences with anxiety, identifying yoga and meditation as coping strategies and why we all need to connect with our authenticity.

Download and Subscribe to Championship Lifestyle on Itunes

2. Performance Anxiety, Shame & Vulnerability | Enhance Your World PODCAST

On average, performers deal with a higher level of anxiety than is necessary, than is healthy or than they are aware of.
The Performance Mindset Program helps people control their fears to stop anxiety from dominating their lives.
In this podcast, life enhancement coach Chris Albaugh invited me onto his early morning “Enhance Your World” Podcast show, where we discuss the Performance Mindset Program, anxiety, shame, vulnerability, courage, addiction, regrets & gratitude.

1. JOGA, Janey's Story & Stage Fright | Tea Time With Tay PODCAST

In this rare interview with Taylor Lynn of the “Tea Time with Tay” podcast, I share exclusive, never shared before details on my wellness background, music story, losing my voice, and battling with stage fright.
We also discuss my role in the JOGA (brand of yoga designed for athletes) company and the Performance Mindset Program!!!

You will not want to miss this. Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel💋

Costa Rica

  • January 20, 2017
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Last year I took an epic 5 week trip to Costa Rica with my colleagues from Panacea Wellness (a wellness company specializing in destination yoga/meditation/nutrition and recovery retreats), who also happen to be some of my best friends. I went into the trip expecting an adventure and came out with a completely new outlook on the purpose of my life.
Inhabiting the Costa Rican way of eating, thinking, living and loving was the beginning of my transformation from “Janey Brown the Singer” or “Janey Brown the Wellness Leader” to “Janey Brown the “Performance Mindset Coach.” 

In this “Behind The Scenes of @janeybworld video,” I share an exclusive look at some of our adventures, fitness workouts, business meetings and of course play.

And yes…. yoga instructors, nutritionists, reiki practitioners and massage therapists like beer too!!


Follow me on Spotify for the 2016 Costa Rica playlist that kept us dancing in every place we travelled! (Or see below for the song list if you don’t have Spotify. Costa Rica 2017 playlist coming soon!!)

Costa Rica 2016 SPOTIFY Playlist


Work – Rihanna ft. Drake

679 – Fetty Wap ft. Monty

Boom – Major Lazer

Light It Up (remix) – Major Lazer

Bajito – Ky-Mani Marley

Never Forget You – Zara Larsson ft. MNEK

Cheap Thrills – Sia ft. Sean Paul

Middle – DJ snake

Kamikaze – Mo

Where Are U Now – Jack U ft. Justin Bieber

I know there’s gonna be (good times) – Jamie xx ft. Young Thug and Popcaan

Trap Queen – Fetty Wap

My Way – Fetty Wap ft. Monty

Touch – Pia Mia

Rather Be (feat. Jess Glynne) – Clean Bandit

I Got U – Duke Dumont ft. Jax Jones

Lean On – Major Lazer ft. Mo & DJ Snake

You Know You Like It ft. Aluna George – DJ Snake

Don’t Need Nobody – Ellie Goulding

Ready For Your Love – Gorgon City feat. MNEK

I’m In Control – Aluna George ft. Popaan

Heaven – Shaun Frank & KSHMR feat. Delaney jane

My Time – DJ Adam cooper ft. Janey brown

Acid Rain – DJ Adam cooper ft Janey brown

Bailar – Deorro ft. Elvis Crespo

What Do You Mean – Justin Bieber

One Dance – Drake ft. Wizkid & Kyla

Fast Car (radio edit) – Jonas Blue ft. Dakota

Show Me Love EDX remix – Sam Feldt & Kimberly Anne

Everyone Falls in love – Tanto Metro & Devonte

Reggae – Etana

Hello (reggae cover) – Conkarah Music

Path To Wellness

  • January 12, 2017
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My personal path to wellness was not what I set out for, but it’s a part of me that I wouldn’t give up for anything.

Most of you know I’ve been a singer/ performer all my life. Writing, recording and performing songs live or on video is the passion I live for.
However I’ve also been a fitness, meditation and yoga coach over the last 10 years, teaching hundreds of groups and individuals at over 16 different wellness facilities in Toronto.

This long journey in the fitness industry started even before it became my way of earning income, with a history of competitive gymnastics, martial arts, and performing dance numbers in music theatre productions every summer.
Initially, I was involved in fitness to keep me healthy for the stage, but then it turned into something I could support myself with financially off the stage.

When I began to turn it into a career, I started out at the bottom of the food chain as an intern at Curves for Women in Brockville at age 17. Two years later I moved to Toronto to pursue my music career and simultaneously attained the credits needed to teach fitness and yoga. My experiences are many I am proud of:
  • I’ve lead teacher trainings for aspiring yoga instructors, and hosted educational seminars for corporate companies.
  • I’ve trained NHL and CFL players, Olympic athletes and UFC fighters in the athletic brand of yoga known as JOGA.
  • I’ve taken 7 yoga trainings and 4 fitness/coaching certifications, among many other courses to support my knowledge base.
  • I’ve helped lawyers and financial kingpins find their zen through meditation.
  • I’ve seen hundreds of faces smile through sweat and just as many curse me under their breath.
  • I’ve met hundreds of fellow wellness leaders and probably won’t have to pay for another yoga class in Toronto as long as I live there.
  • I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would about the physical body, the nervous system, breath patterns, nutrition, meditation, yoga styles, body mechanics, recovery, “mindfulness” and will continue to learn for the rest of my life.

Though in all the tremendous experiences I’ve gained and services I’ve given over these years, one of the most exciting accomplishments happened in March 2016 with three other incredible women.

In addition to my music aspirations, it’s always been a dream of mine to:
A) escape Canadian winters to somewhere hot B) travel C) work with a team of like minded, driven women who share the same desire to serve the greater good.
I nailed all 3 of those dreams in one when I teamed up with Panacea Wellness in March 2016, to teach yoga and meditation at our first wellness retreat in Costa Rica.

Panacea Wellness was founded by two east coast ginger sisters- Cleo & Sylvie Tetrault. In the summer of 2015, they asked another East Coast girl Mischaela Richter and myself to join their team.

Cleo is a high powered ninja masseuse who takes care of all the retreat details and logistics, and who could easily bring a 7ft, 400 pound football player to tears on her massage table. She is small, but trust me- she is mighty. At the same she has a kindness in her heart that can warm up the entire room, making you feel completely safe and at ease in her care.

Mischaela is an energetic healer, who delights everyone with Reiki at our retreats and may have a natural talent at showing people just how hard they are capable of laughing. After meeting and spending time with Mischaela for 3 days, I’m pretty convinced we’re part of the same family of magical mermaids.

Sylvie is a strong, tenacious woman who inspires and motivates her clients (and me) every day. She takes care of all the nutrition and fitness classes at the retreat and has a wealth of knowledge that enchants everyone who chooses to learn from her.
Though we look fundamentally nothing alike, we’ve been mistaken for sisters and even twins on more than one occasion, in more than one country. Each time this happens it’s just as bizarre as the last time, but perhaps we’re perceived as so similar due to the same passion, determination and courage we commit to our goals and life itself.
I kiss the sky every day that her and I came back into each others’ lives after meeting 10 years ago in 2007.

Yeah, pretty incredible team… I think so too.

If the amazing connection and joy that came out of travelling with these women before and after the retreat wasn’t indication enough that I am on the right path with the right people, then the growth in spirituality and leadership we developed together as a team during the actual retreat proved it.

The poise and grace that was exuded through our challenges, the emotional control through our exhaustion and the support, respect and honesty we had for one another when discussing a problem, really defined the women I am in business with and showed me the woman I’ve grown into today.

I’m incredibly grateful to be working with this team and excited for the wellness retreats and seminars we’ll be hosting in 2017. (Learn more about our next Panacea Wellness Retreat on Feb 17 2017!!!)
Finding happiness, purpose and wellness looks different for everyone.
Science has proven that we are all diverse right down to our DNA, thus we all need a customized combination of exercise, nutrition and motivating activities to create our paths to wellness. You could say that I’ve found my path to wellness in helping people find theirs.
I am truly my best self, when I am leading others to their best life.


  • November 23, 2016
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“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on her own wings. Believe in yourself.” And trust your pain.


No matter what we do, no matter where we hide, no matter how hard we try, we can’t avoid pain.
We can’t mitigate it or prevent it for ourselves or for anyone else.
All throughout our lives we’ll be delivered our own dose of it, in various shapes and sizes, at different times, for different reasons.

Some people will try to numb it out with food, drugs, alcohol, tv, video games, social media, sex, blaming someone else or all of the above. However, they will find out that numbing feelings of pain will also numb feelings of joy.

Others will armour up with a thick shield and turn cold to try and keep the pain out. They will realize they’re instead keeping the pain in and worse- segregating themselves from support.

Whether we’re able to accept it or not, pain will always be there encouraging us to stretch, grow and change forever.
If we choose paths of avoidance, suppression or resistance, then we will suffer and cause more pain.
If we choose to embrace it and adapt to this natural process, only then will we have the opportunity to feel joy again.

The bottom line is, grief will only be released and decreased by walking through it. Thus, we have to be willing to not feel good in order to feel good.

Make no mistake. If we choose to welcome the pain, we will be just as terrified and tender. The difference though, is that allowing our pain to be present and moving forward even though we’re afraid, amplifies our bravery.

Truly accepting that we are going to hurt whether we try or don’t try in life, will allow us to take a lot more leaps of faith towards what we desire or know is right. It will set us free from unrealistic expectations of what it means to be happy and help us strive for personal excellence instead of perfectionism.
Further, making peace with the fact that the ebb and flow of pain and joy will be a lifelong cycle, grants us the courage to feel joy more fully when it’s present and prevent us from spiralling when it isn’t.

I’m not sure life is “easy” for anyone, but we can start to develop a sense of ease within our lives once we commit to putting in the work every single day to heal. We can only heal if we’re brave enough to face and embrace our pain.

Once we’ve healed enough, our pain then offers one of the most beautiful gifts on Earth: our ability to help others through theirs.

I’ve performed on many stages and taught at the front of a lot of classrooms over the last 20 years. However, the abundance of applause and praise I’ve received from those actions is no match for the aliveness and electricity I feel when I’m one on one with someone and have just been able to coach them through a challenge.

Having an audience appreciate you is a beautiful feeling, but I’m not sure there is anything more powerful than the connection that appears when two people open themselves up to giving and receiving their truths in pain and love.
The connection those people feel when they choose to be seen for who they really are and what they really feel is timeless and unbreakable. There’s nothing else that feels more uplifting, inspiring and real to me as sharing vulnerability.

Let me be clear. I have not always been able to express myself as openly as mentioned above with even some of my closest allies. It wasn’t until recent years, after a lot of therapy and personal development that I decided to start showing up in the world embodying my most authentic self.

To be seen by someone else for my imperfections, shame and fears still tears me apart even just thinking about it, regardless of how much that person may love me. However, I refuse to let my fear of rejection outweigh my value of living courageously.

I’ve learned that in order to have the capacity to absorb deeper amounts of love and happiness, my heart first has to break to let more in.

So I when my pain presents itself, I try my best to open my arms and let it tear me apart. I surrender as it wears down the locks and chains I have around my vulnerability to keep the real me hidden from the world.
As I crack open to bare my core, love and empathy are released into my bloodstream, caressing the coward within. It makes her feel protected and brave again, allowing me to stand my ground in my pain and listen without judgement.

It shows me that it is only here to help me see where I need to grow, so I have the chance at becoming the very best version of myself, in ways I never could have predicted. This opportunity to transform reminds me that I am worthy of love, connection and living a good life.

It encourages me to ask for help and lean on those who love me so we can share the weight and lift each other up.

It tells me I’m afraid of being rejected, because I have been rejecting myself. It reminds me the fear of abandonment will dissipate if I can learn to love myself. It reveals that no matter what people, possessions, abilities or roles fall away from my life as it washes over me, the person standing here baring her soul will be everlasting.

It speaks, I listen.
It’s released and I touch heaven.

What better drug than that?
Isn’t that what we’re always after?
A potion we can simply ingest that masks our pain, so we can feel loved, happy and fearless? An instant substance that makes us feel unbarred to be seen for who we are?

The problem is when that potion wears off, all that masked pain comes back and we crave the potion again and again until we’re dependant on it to feel alive and connected.

But what if the magic formula to get these feelings of elation aren’t in a manmade pill?
What if it’s in an action?
To let yourself be seen. Really seen.
What if embracing vulnerability is the potion that sets us all free?

The irony is that you will have to go through the pain yourself to know if what I’m saying is true. My words will only mean so much until you have the courage to trust and accept your struggle. So I’ll leave you with this:
When there’s pain don’t bury, run or hide from it because it will wait inside of you until you show up and embrace it.
Don’t project it onto someone else because you’ll never understand where it’s coming from in you and it will just keep coming.
Let the pain speak to you, because once it’s done talking and it knows you’ve heard it, it will begin to release itself.
Lean on another and let them lift you up. We are all neurobiologically hard wired to need connection from another human from birth to death. It is not a weakness, it is an element of survival and imperative to our healing process.

To be present with your pain is the last thing you want but is exactly what you need. It’s not easy, and it takes patience and practise. However, when you have the courage to accept your pain, it becomes rain to your desert, sunshine to your seeds, birds to your flowers and feathers to your wings.


Lift Me Up


Click here for a FREE download of “Lift Me Up


  • November 18, 2016
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In 2011 I was hired to be the official voice and face of CFL on TSN’s “Friday Night Football” theme song, written by Eric Neuschwander and produced by Andy Curran. This is the full story.

I was at Orange Lounge Recording Studio in Toronto working on a record with good friend and collaborator Andy Curran (at the time manager of Rush, Ian Thornley and A&R executive at SRO/Anthem records), when in walked Eric Neuschwander (at the time Producer/Director/Writer for TSN).

Neuschwander was looking for a vocalist for the new “Friday Night Football” anthem and absolutely fell in love with what he heard the night he met me. In fact, I think he might have become my biggest fan from that point on.

It was a process to get the vice president of TSN who was overseeing the project to agree that I was a match for the part, but once he did things were quickly set into motion.

The first step was for Curran, Neuschwander and I to fly to LA and record my vocals at Henson Recording Studios. There we worked with Doyle Bramhall II, best known for his work with Eric Clapton and Roger Waters and I was even blessed enough to meet the legendary Kuk Harrell (songwriter/producer for Rihanna and many others).

My first LA experience was an incredible whirlwind of fancy hotels, delicious Mexican food and getting to meet and work with my heroes.

In later years I travelled repetitively to Santa Monica to grow my health and wellness career, where I developed a whole other network of friends and went through some amazing life transformations with Naam Yoga. It goes without saying that Cali holds a very special place in my heart and is one of my favourite places.

After California dreamin’, we arrived back in Canada for our next mission, which was to transform my hair from this:

To this:


(Both photos above by Maz Mohajer)

It took two different salons, 4 stylists, 24 hours and a pretty penny, but was a blast every step of the way. The friendships I developed during this process made it a precious experience, though I can’t deny that every time I think about turning dark again I still get a little shell shocked. 😉

The final step to complete the new Friday Night Football anthem was the video production. We shot my segment in a green screen warehouse at Showline Studios, where I stood on a little green box in 6 inch heels over the course of an entire day.


Neuschwander and his team’s infectious positive energy and incessant razzing turned the day into an absolute riot. When it comes to writing and directing in the sports industry, the man is a creative genius and even on a “bad day” he has an unparalleled ability to turn a work process into an adventure.

This incredible moment in my career lead to many more amazing opportunities going forward and for that I’m forever grateful to Andy C for introducing me to Noosh, to Noosh for believing in me and to both these men for always having my back whenever I need a big brother in this industry.

Thank you to everyone at TSN for your support and all who were involved in the project!!!

Below Mike Richards from TSN 10150 radio, interviews my guitar player and writing partner Darryl “Daz” Coppins and myself on our then up-and-coming single “Revived” produced by Grammy Award Winning NYC producer George M. Harry (AKA “DJ Dirty Harry”).

And of course the finished product- the Official CFL on TSN Friday Night Football theme song!!!

Janey Brown TSN interview

CFL on TSN "Friday Night Football" Anthem


  • September 26, 2016
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The 3 part video series in this blog offers some practical tips on making positive lifestyle changes through meditation and mindfulness.

Video #1 is an introduction to how we can find our own individual meaning of spirituality.

Video #2 answers some of the most commonly asked questions about meditation.

Video #3 includes some quick and simple instructions on a breathing exercise that can help reduce anxiety and manage stress.

Meditation Background

As many of you already know from My Story, I haven’t just been performing for the last 20 years. Since in 2007, I’ve also lead hundreds of individuals and groups in fitness, yoga and meditation classes.

You may also know that I started practising meditation at age 13 to better cope with the stage fright I struggled with as a teenager and young adult.

Since then, I’ve studied breath and sound therapy in the 200h Naam Yoga Therapies program, which has given me a deeper understanding of how we can begin to balance the nervous system through breathing meditations and how sound vibrations effect our brainwaves and mood.

I’ve also taken the 25h Blu Matter Project “Yoga for Mental Health” course, which educated me on deeper emotional awareness through mindfulness exercises, how the brain works, as well as how to support those dealing mental illness.

Above all, one of the most powerful and consistent experiences to date has been my personal study and practise of cultivating spirituality, self awareness and developing positive neural pathways.
The spiritual connection, liberation and balance meditation and breath work have added to my life have been so profound that there’s no other option for me than to start sharing this knowledge.

Regardless of my years of practise and certifications, I will always consider myself a student of these topics and am humbled and honoured when people want to learn from me, so thank you for allowing me to share with you.

Below is a 3 part video series, where pro athlete holistic nutritionist & strength coach Sylvie Tetrault interviews me on some of the most common topics that clients and followers ask me about.

Thanks for stopping by and don’t forget to share & subscribe!


1. The Meaning of Spirituality


2. Common Meditation Questions


3. Breathing Exercise to Reduce Anxiety


  • September 14, 2016
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It’s not jogging + yoga. It’s not “Jock Yoga.” It’s JOGA- yoga for athletes- and it’s no joke.

I found this special brand of yoga 5 years ago in 2011, while working as a fitness + power yoga instructor at a boutique gym on Queen St. E in Toronto known as “EnergyXchange.” I crossed paths with creator/founder Jana Webb on her way into the gym’s yoga studio, where I recall her describing how incredible it had been seeing her athletes from CFL’s Calgary Stampeders, transform their bodies and their game once they started incorporating JOGA into their training regimens.

She noted that the program was designed specifically for athletes, tight bodies and people wanting more of an ‘athletic’ workout from their yoga practise. It seemed right up my ally, as I was never into the “Westernized”, flowery yoga culture that seemed to be missing the point of what yoga had to offer both scientifically and spiritually anyway.

It was so up my ally that I was utterly shaking from fatigue in my first class a week later.

This was humbling, because I come from a martial arts background where you’re trained never to show your opponent that you’re experiencing weakness. However, in JOGA you have no choice; if you’re not strong enough to maintain the posture, your body will take you out of it.
Before I tried the class, I remember being intrigued by learning more about how it was so different than just a hard, sweaty power yoga practise. By the end of the first class I understood that there was a unique science behind the carefully selected sequence of postures.

The program forces you to stay honest with yourself, reveals your weakest links, ensures you get in touch with your breath and educates you more about your body than any other physical training program I have ever taken, let alone taught.
The deep connection each posture has to the core makes sure you’re strong from the inside out.
The kinetic cueing encourages perfect bone alignment to promote proper movement patterns.
The emphasis put on targeting the stabilizer muscles provides muscular support for the joints thus safe range of motion.
These components allow the body to find it’s maximum potential within it’s own limitations and enables energy to move through the body more efficiently and successfully in all other movements- whether on or off the mat.
You could say it’s a game changer… or a life changer.

I increased my proprioception and became more aware of my body on the outside, because I was actually being educated on what was going on mechanically inside.
The power of breath and it’s connection to the core was comprehended on a whole new level and this was all just within the first of the four segments in Level 1 JOGA. 

It was not only a kickass workout as promised, it was brilliant knowledge for the mind, evolutionary for the body and redefined the meaning of yoga to me.

I looked no further: In October 2011 I took the first ever JOGA teacher training, and in December 2011 I was the first ever certified JOGA instructor.

Since becoming certified, I have had the opportunity of working with CFL’s Toronto Argonauts, the NHL players from the Gary Roberts High Performance Training, Olympic athletes, UFC fighters and am now a JOGA Master Trainer, leading 40 hour JOGA teacher trainings in Ontario.

I’ve gained incredible amounts of personal and professional growth upon getting involved with JOGA and I’m so exited to be a part of something that is becoming a global success.

Apart from the personal gains, career successes and sense of purpose I’ve gained from being involved with the JOGA company over the last 5 years, the thing I cherish the most is the people I’ve met and the friendships I’ve made.
It never ceases to amaze me the type of clients, fellow Jogis and business people this company attracts. It’s like a magnet for intelligent, driven, loyal, beautiful, strong and inspirational men and women, and I couldn’t be more blessed to have developed some of the best friends in the world because of this.

In the “JOGA WORLD (Behind The Scenes)” video below, you’ll see for yourself the dedication, hard work and respect that we all put into our relationships with our fellow teammates, as well as into the success of this company.

Thank you Jana Webb for the bravery it took to follow your heart and create this bullet-proof program, and for inspiring us all to follow our hearts too.

“JOGA is the discipline of yoga combined with the SCIENCE AND BIOMECHANICS OF MOVEMENT. The program was designed for the body of an athlete, the mind of an athlete and the industry of sport.” – Jana Webb (

JOGA WORLD Behind The Scenes

JOGA Teacher Training Mannequin Challenge

Here To Mars

  • September 8, 2016
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To my friends, fans and followers: From the bottom of my heart thank you for all of your continued support. You’re my everything from here to mars.



The happiest year thus far for me has been manifesting since my last birthday (sept 2015), when I stepped out from underneath my armour a little more and started sharing with the public not just my successful moments, but the darkness and vulnerability that are a part of me too.

Those who’ve been following my journey have seen a lot more raw footage of me singing on InstagramFacebook and Twitter, and behind the scenes of my REAL life on Snapchat & Instagram Stories. I’ve published blogs on my website revealing my battles with anxiety and fear. I’ve posted videos on my YouTube channel about my less than ideal eating habits, tips on meditation & wellness, and advice on continuing to strive for greatness. I have released personal songs that I’ve been hanging onto for years because I didn’t think they were perfect enough.

These are all different ways I’ve chosen to put myself out into the world as an artist, wellness leader and human being, who genuinely wants to connect and share with whoever will be inspired to watch and listen.

However, even though it may seem like it’s easy for me to be this ‘public’ with my life because I’ve been performing for 20 years- it’s absolutely not.

Sometimes I feel like such a loser. I ask myself why I bother. I tell myself my dreams are stupid and far fetched. I get frustrated and impatient with my process. I criticize and judge my progress. I compare myself to others that are “further along than me.” I pray for shortcuts. I get scared. Claim I’m unworthy. Have shame. Fail.

Most people don’t even know that I used to battle with such severe stage fright that I took medicine for it. Even though I’ve never let my extreme performance anxiety get in the way of doing my job onstage, and even though I no longer take medication due to the help of my meditation practise, I still get excruciatingly nervous before going onstage sometimes if my mind isn’t in check.

Most of the time no matter how much energy I give to people, or how much hard work I put into developing my goals, I never feel like I’m doing enough.

It hasn’t been easy building two careers over the last 10 years and I’ve had a lot of doubts about being able to make this work along the way. However, in the moments of doubt causing me to hide from the world, or beat myself up, or stand in the way of my own story, voice, song, truth… you guys have been there to give me the nudges I’ve needed to move forward.

You’ve told me that my tenacity has inspired you to follow your dreams. You’ve told me that sharing my struggles has made you feel brave. You’ve told me that my yoga classes, guided meditations and seminars caused you to improve your health and your life. You’ve told me that you’re certain I wrote my songs from the memories of your own heart. You’ve told me you believe in me. That you’re proud and to keep going.

You’ve watched closely and stood by me from that time at age 8 I used the front porch of my parents’ house in the Thousand Islands, to perform “Rapunzel” (the musical) for the whole neighbourhood. You were in the audience at the Brockville Arts Centre watching me sing “We Refuse To Fall Asleep” at 10 years old. You saw me land on my first professional stage at age 18. You sing along to my performance of the CFL “Friday Night Football” anthem every football season on TSN. And here you still are. Cheering me on as I sing in my room with no make up, on Instagram at age 30.

Well I’ve been watching too. Every like, share, comment, add, mention, repost, clap, whistle, scream, whisper, nod, and beating heart.

I see and feel it all. Every piece of art given to me, picture taken with you, every hug, every signature you’ve asked for, every message or letter that I’ve been able to open, every quote repeated, song or video replayed.

All of these things have left a signature of their own, branded into my mind and spirit.

The inspiration and uplift you have all given me all along the way drives me to keep going when I have lost all hope. I would not be as far along on my journey or as happy in my life without this support.

My achievements are your achievements. My happiness is your happiness. So let’s celebrate the victories as OURS, because alone I’d be stuck on the moon, but together we’ll make our dreams a reality all the way from here to MARS.

Every word I say I truly mean: Thank you for loving me.

2 Makeup Looks in 2 Minutes

  • August 30, 2016
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Celebrity makeup artist Roxanne DeNobrega worked on my very first professional photoshoot and music video 10 years ago, and has been the makeup goddess of my life ever since!
In this 2 min behind the scenes vid she takes me from “girl next door” to “Bollywood”. Enjoy!

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